How to Make Being a Sensitive Person Work For You
There are good and also hard things about being a sensitive person. I know, because I am one.
I'm going to show you all the good things and how to navigate through the hard things. Most importantly, I will show you how to make relationships work for you when you're super sensitive.
First, I want to start with the positives of being sensitive.
Being sensitive means that you feel things deeply and sense other people's feelings.
And though these two things may have at times caused you pain, I want to show you how to harness them and use them as the superpowers they are.
Once you understand these powers, you can understand what's going on around you much more quickly than most people. You can understand what's going on with your partner, your employer and your employees and you can learn to have superior relationship skills.
Here's something else I want you to think about: how marketable your skills are today and how valuable financially they are.
Right now we have a lot of technology automation and I want you to know that neither apps nor artificial intelligence can reproduce what you possess. They can reproduce intelligence by collecting data, but they can't reproduce what's intuitive yet.
In my business, I can’t automate your ability to have compassion for my clients. I can't automate the way you see the world and the beauty that you bring to the world. So from financial standpoint, I need you to really understand that your skills are rising in value financially.
When you learn to use your super-power of compassion and feeling what others feel, you will learn to anticipate the needs of others and to be able to met them.
Steve Jobs as a brilliant example of this. He could see the future. He had a vision for the future. Why? Because he could connect with people's real needs and you can too.
You're in business to meet a need and you’re going to be able to understand your customer's needs so much more than most people because you have this super power.
You probably already know the next positive about being sensitive. You are more creative than most.
If you're super sensitive, you may sense that you are more in touch with spiritual matters or aware of the beauty of art or music and because of this you can create things no one else can. This isn't just about creating art or music, however, it's about your ability to create a rich home life or nurturing your children or bringing goodness to the world and there's huge value in that.
There are a few more things I'm going to talk about that are positives.
Two of the things that you may possess are spontaneity and excitement.
You get excited about things and it's contagious. People are so attracted to you and drawn to you. You have the passion. You are fun to be around.
Another thing you have is a strong moral compass.
You have a strong sense of right and wrong. You take up the torch for things you believe in. You look out for the little guy. The things in life that have caused you pain, you use to empathetically care for others.
You likely have strong personal attachments.
When you're sensitive, you are loyal and attached strongly and people in the world need that. You have a willingness to please because you care so much about other people in your relationships.
But there's a flip side to these things that makes our being sensitive really difficult.
If you're sensitive, your feelings are bigger and you are also feeling what those around you are experiencing, and it can be overwhelming before you learn to sort it all out.
When we attach strongly to others, we may experience a fear of abandonment and I want you to feel strong and confident in all of your relationships.
You may experience great joy when things are going well, but you likely experience more pain than others.
And criticism may really effect you and bring you down when it seems to roll off of others’ backs so easily.
I have so many tips and tricks for you to learn how to embrace your sensitivity while letting go of the destructive parts. And I’m going to give you some of the most powerful tips right here!
Here is what happens when you intensely feel emotions?
Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) teaches us
that once we have a thought, we have an emotion and that emotion leads to an action.
Emotions affect our actions and so what happens is we, without realizing it, have an emotion and then there's an action we don't even think about that we take.
If you have super strong emotions, you're going to have a super strong behavior. Just make sense. It's understandable.
We will use fear as an example. When we feel fear, we either run away or fight. 90% of my clients have said that their first response to fear is to run. But I had one client, a successful businessman, who fought, or ran towards what he was afraid of.
He explained that, growing up spearfishing in Hawaii, one day he encountered a shark in the ocean and swam for his life back to shore.
His mother, standing on the shore, scolded him and told him to get right back in the water! And so, he learned to get back in the water and face his fear that day.
I want you to think about what you DO when you feel an emotion. And I want you to think about what you could DO differently, an action that will serve you better, when you feel a feeling.
The easiest way to practice this is to just do the opposite thing you’d normally do.
When I first learned this, I was severely depressed and in bed. When I felt depressed, I went to bed. I started to practice, when I felt depressed, to DO something.
If, when you are angry, and you normally act out and feel it isn’t working for you, try staying quiet.
Or when you feel lonely and isolate, try going out.
We start these practices with baby steps. It will feel uncomfortable at first. Just try it. And then try it a little more.
Now a bit about how to make relationships work better for you when you are very sensitive.
I'm a sensitive person. I felt everything growing up, but I came to realize that because I was so sensitive, I was not only feeling in my experience, but feeling the emotions of others. When I first discovered this I was sitting next to my now ex-husband after an especially grueling crossfit workout. I was sitting in the car feeling really tense and irritable, and I was thinking, “Actually did a pretty good job. I feel good about this. So what’s going on here?”
I looked over at him and realized it was him feeling this way, not me. It was such a relief to be like, “oh, I don't feel tense or irritable. I feel fine.” And then just send him back his energy.
Just knowing that you experience others’ emotional state can help you sort out what is yours and what is theirs. Make a conscious effort to disconnect from others who try and who are trying to pull you into their emotional state.
The last thing I want to tell you about relationships is this: not every is like you. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. At best, they are just oblivious, at worst, there are many who do wish you harm.
I thought everyone else had my best interests at heart and because I did like I cared about people and I felt their emotions, but I'm going to tell you no one has your best interests like you do, so let me explain. There's a limitation in being a human that no one can understand your experience. Iq, Kim, I am empathetic. I'm intuitive. I'm trained as a life coach. I have psychological certifications I can sit across from you or your mother or your spouse or your child, the most loving person in your life. No one is going to get you like you. Do. I have a limitation as a human being, you have. You have a limitation as a human being that doesn't allow you to truly get another person's experience and so it's up to you and my God.
Speaker 1: (34:32)
This is why I love live coaching so much because life coaching, the way I do it in the way I've learned it in my path on it is to teach you how to validate, understand, and go for your own you because no one's going to get it but you and the most important piece to this for me was learning how to feel confident. Learning how to understand who I am and believe in it and not let anyone stop me and especially not ask for other's people's opinions all the time and feel bad when people didn't believe me or understand me is to believe in myself and that's the most important piece of being sensitive. I want you to get for yourself. I want you to understand how to do that.
Speaker 1: (35:21)
Alright. Um, I think I said everything. I'm going through these last notes. Yeah, I did. I said everything I wanted to say today. Now I know it sounds like I'm being salesy, but I want to connect with you and if you can't afford my coaching, joined my retrain your brain class. Go to control the future.tech forward slash retrain brain. If you, if you're not in a place or you need supplemental, follow me on social media, Youtube, Tammy Green, my facebook. Join my newsletter. Get this Freebie and really learn this stuff. This is some good stuff y'all. I just want you to know I love you and I'm happy that you're growing in your journey and I'm looking forward to you realizing fully your big bright light is shining all over the world. Okay? Have a great week. Okay, bye.